Everyone has an external facade. 

How beautiful we all look on the outside. 

But with great strength of rebars and mixtures of the right concrete aggregates, 

you are just as strong as how you perceive you are.

And I also learnt to never judge how the external looks like.

Because sometimes, it can deceive you.

Only to break your heart.

No doubt I am scared for what's about to come. I would be lying to say that I wasn't scared but sometimes fear is the only thing that makes you cherish life even more. You'll tend to live. And appreciate the beauty of each day.

"Being brave isn't the absence of fear. 
Being brave is having that fear to find a way through it."

- Bear Grylls

Empowered women 

empower women.

Venue:

Hajjah Mariam Cafe

3 Gateway Drive, #B2-08 Westgate Shopping Mall

S608532

Our world cannot unite until we reach this point of mutual respect, and accountability of ourselves first before others. We must look towards ourselves and what we are lacking and what needs improvement, rather than measuring and scrutinising others. What one has, the other lacks, and we must acknowledge this; and learn and take the good from each other.

#1 I don’t need a bluetooth, I just stick my cell phone in my hijab.

#2 I can use it as a breastfeeding apron.

#3 It’s a great peek-a-boo-tool.

#4 If I get a bad haircut, it’ll cover it up and no one will know.

#5 If I spill while eating or drinking, it falls on my hijab, thus saving my dress.

#6 I don’t need to use a beanie, earmuff or scarf; I got it all in one.

#7 Attracts only good people to me and weeds out people who aren’t really my friends.

#8 A physical and spiritual reminder that I shouldn’t be in certain places or situations, my hijab keeps me out of trouble and wrong-doing.

#9 I use it to slap my brother when he acts like a dork.

#10 I can use the tip as a blindfold when I play hide and seek with my daughter.

101 Reasons why I’m Glad I wear Hijab

Written by: Mona Ebrahim

Illustrated by: Lina Tarek Ali & Nadia Zuhdi

(Page 11, 14-18)

Brought my mum and my siblings for a retreat. Alhamdulillah like finally. It's such a great retreat that all enjoyed. And special thanks to my father who drove us there. I am really thankful for this blessed gift that Allah gave me. And I really hope my future partner would appreciate this special gift called, family. Inshallah. :)

Today is MND's Family Day at USS. And it ends beautifully today. I always believe that when you are kind to others, others will spread it. That, what makes kindness goes round. Alhamdulillah.

I was rushing to catch the last bus out back from from RWS and an auntie approached me asking me about the 963R bus. I told her, it will only be coming at 11.30pm which is the last bus. While we wait for the bus, we strike a conversation, the starters. So when the bus came and it was crowded, I can't believe my eyes as I was the pt few who board the bus. She save a sit for me! Pretty adorable isn't it. And all the way throughout the journey, we chatted and she share her life stories. They were private, yet meaningful. It was beautiful and nice to strike a conversation with a random stranger.

This often happens to me, really. I don't know why I was always being approached for direction and yes I will be gladly to able to guide them, opening up my trusted Singapore Map app. I just love it, I don't know why. And yes, random strangers just like to strike out a conversation with me, in buses or trains or even having my lunch/dinner alone. I find that pretty rewarding and engaging to be communicating with strangers. I mean by strangers, it's not men's who wants to get personally with me. I wish it did but I guess that it will never happen. Haha.

So bottom line, today is just beautiful. Because I'm learning to grow to listen well, and better understand life from all woks of life. Alhamdulillah.

The birth of life.

Hello Maryam Raisha!

اَللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أُعِيذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

"Ya Allah, aku memohon perlindungan kepada-Mu untuknya dan untuk keturunannya dari setan yang terkutuk.”

Life is forever gaining knowledge.
To spread what you've learnt and educate a generation.

Life is beautiful with you around.

You bring a lot of joys to our lives.

You may be little but with you,

You're a beautiful reminder for all of us,

How once we were young and loved we were filled with.

You thought us the gift from Allah is the most precious thing in life.

Alhamdullilah.

Where: SUSS (Singapore University of Social Science)

How to get there: Blk B. Located below staircase 24, beside Lecture Room 1.10. 
For ablution go to the toilet nearby. Slippers and telekong provided.

I always thought myself to be healthy.
I mean, I do fall sick easily.

It's just that I hope I can refrain myself from getting a long term illness.
But you know, we can never know.
Life is just full of mysteries.
All all we can do is take precaution.

May Allah bless and refrain all of us from sickness,
but bless us with health and Imaan.
Amin.

You don't find your worth in a man.

You find your worth within yourself and

then you find a man who is worthy of you.

Remember that.

- quote from herblankcanvas

It's pretty cliche when I was younger, friends would always say that I will be the first to be married off, because yeahhh I'm the kinda girl whose Minah Khawin Khawin. But here I am, in my 30s. Pretty much single and figuring my life out. It's not that I have not figured out my life, it's just that I think I attracted the wrong kind of men in my life. We don't share the same goals and direction in life, I guess. And it's not that I don't want to settle down, have kids and building a home. Pretty much, I do yearn it a lot. But I guess, Allah knows best and He is just that magical and mysterious but lovingly plan my life in an unexpected way. Allah knows I yearn it a lot. He knows, I know. He is testing me, pulling me closer to Him so that I will be much better and stronger than I thought I could be. Allah is just amazing and forever kind. I am very sure He is giving me the best, if not in Dunia, He will surely give me the very best in Akhirat. Inshallah, Amin.

Therefore, "Guide me to the straight path."

- Surah Al Fateha: ayah 6

It's funny that when you know what you want, disappoints you.

But believing all that you need, is always with you.

Allahu' Akbar.

It takes a lot of courage to ask for forgiveness.

Even though it's not entirely my fault.

Only Allah knows the sincerity of you, apologising.

I lied because not that I want to.
I lied because I trust in oath.

I lied because I was blinded to think that I can keep the one I love with me.
I lied because I am someone whom can be trusted.

I lied because once bitten, twice shy.

But once; twice shy, I've stop trusting.

Trusting mens, who will break my heart.

Over and over again.
It hurts.
Deep.

I don't need to flaunt my life.

I just need to be discovered and be appreciated.

For what I've battled throughout my achievements.

I do know how to reward myself, don't I?

Notice this 4 parcels/gifts for myself, yes.

It's a reward for me to open one at the time, once my 4 assignments have been submitted.

Ohhh come on, admit that I'm kinda good at self discipline and well, parenting. 

Because Monday's is always Game of Thrones night.
With good food.

And do not weaken in the pursuit of the enemy.
If you should be suffering, so are they suffering as you are suffering,
but you expect from Allah that which they expect not.
And Allah is ever Knowing and Wise.
- Surah An-Nisaa: ayah 104

“The best deeds are: Salat in its stipulated hour, goodness towards parents and Jihad in the way of Allah.”

- Imam As-Sadiq

"Yang lalu biar lah berlalu.
Dan yang akan datang itu masih ghaib.
Yang terpenting bagimu adalah hari ini,
yang sekarang sedang dijalani."
- Don't Be Sad for Muslimah by Nabil Bin Muhammad Mahmud

Gabrielle Solis: All I want is just to be happy.
Pastor: That sounds like a selfish little girl who only thinks of herself, Gabrielle.
(Desperate Housewives, Season 2)

Everyone is fighting their own battle.

Be kind.

(photo credit Alwi Zainal)

It's not a matter of chance, but choice.

The choices we make, so we can achieve.

This is life. People will screw you over.

You'll fight with your family.

You'll witness things that will change you forever.

You'll blame new lovers for things old lovers did.

You'll lose best friends you thought would always be there.

You'll come to realize that everyone has a past.

You'll cry, you'll laugh and you'll embarrass yourself.

But then, you'll find in your very own moment where none of that matters;

Where you can sit back and realize that shit happens to the people who can handle it.

And this is who you are, and no one can change you.

Only you can change yourself, to be a better you.

Today I sat at my prayer mat during Zohor, thinking.

How blessed I am. Alhamdulillah.

Allah is forever kind to me, Alhamdulillah.

I sat in tears, feeling so ashamed to Allah.

He is protecting me and guiding me. Everyday, every step that I make.

He is saving me, indeed He is. He always save me.

I've realised why this didn't work out for me, it's because Allah loves me. Always.

From each time He gave me time to remember Him, always.

He is protecting me from committing Zina, He is protecting me from who knows what will ever happen in the future that maybe something bad were to happen which I'm unable to take it.

He is protecting me because He loves my parents and to which my parents doesn't deserve any less.

Alhamdulillah. I am truly blessed, Ya Allah.

I may be blind not to see it, but Alhamdulillah for this heart to finally feel the love You have for me.

I don't know why people kept telling me to heal my heart without knowing the meaning
 on how or what I meant to healing my own heart.

There is more to it, it's deeper. Much more deeper.

It's a deeper conversation with Allah, if only they knew what I actually meant.

Healing my heart, not only from the pain, hatred, anger, disappointments.

It's also about Huznuzon. Meaning think good of whatever it is that's happening.

This is my battle, this is my Jihad.
Think good of what is happening and healing myself at the same time.
It's never about the outcome will be. Or how healed I am.
I can never be heal.
It's the effort that I'm putting to healing myself.
And with Allah, I know that He's there.
He's always there, to ease me.

I used to wonder how people can be alone, like they don't wish to be married or live their lives alone. It comes to this that I realized that, maybe some times people do want to be married and have kids and all. But Allah haven't give that rezeki just yet.
And for some, they know the meaning of hurt. So that's why they choose to be alone.

I mean, I've been living my life pretty much independently. Alhamdulillah I'm cool with it. Ever since I've start working at the retail shop, I've learnt that working life, you have to battle things alone at times. And pretty much I've grew to be better individual and as well as a team player. I ate alone and I enjoy quiet time to myself. By eating alone, meaning you sat in the crowded food court and striking a conversation with the neighbour. That's the difference with eating alone, tapao-ing and eating at your work desk. By being alone, meaning you socialising with the people you met.

Once, I was called crazy for watching a concert alone. I didn't think I'm crazy nor lonely. I enjoyed it much. I am brave, strong and independent. I watched movies alone, dine alone, watch the ballet alone, have a staycation alone, attended talks alone. Pretty much I don't seem to need a companion to do things together. Well at times, I do. And this is not crazy. I don't know why people have this misconception that people who enjoyed doing things alone are lonely. I, for once now understand the joy of doing things alone. Meaning you have the time to think to yourself and make decisions and yes, chop chop! Like you don't have to wait for someone whose in the toilet, powdering her nose! I am unsure if you get what I mean.

But pretty much, being alone is not lonely. Or miserable. I prefer to think that it's a brave step. Not many can endure this. Else, tolerate this. Being alone has taught me to grow. Alhamdulillah. I tend to make decisions for myself. I tend to think and question myself. I tend to even see beauty in everything.

And most importantly, I fall back in love with myself.

To forgive.

That's what I've been trying to do for the past few months.

To forgive the one who hurts me. To be forgiven to the ones I've hurt.

And most importantly to forgive myself.

It was so hard, forgiving myself over what happen.

I can't basically forgive myself.

I started everything. And everything was my fault.

I shouldn't feel what I've felt in the first place. It is my mistake.

My mistake for letting it in, my mistake for giving myself chance.

And get those around me, affected and hurt.

I can never bring to forgive myself.

Today's topic at the Spiritual Summit 2017 does helps me in a way or two.

I have to let go. I have to eliminate and refrain myself to looking back.

I have to move forward. And in order to do that, I have to submit and trust in Allah.

Let it all go. And time will heal.

To forgive is to forget.

And knowing things, can never be the same again.

"Ya Allah, sempurnahkanlah agamaku, di mana agama menjadi asas setiap urusan bagiku. Mudahkan urusan dunia yang menjadi tempat hidupku, dan mudahkan pula urusan akhirat, di mana akhirat itu tempat negeri kembaliku. Jadikan hidupku hanya untuk menambah kebaikan. Jadikan pula kematian hanya tempat untuk berehat dari melakukan kejahatan."
(HR Muslim no.4904, Kitab adz-Dikr wa ad Dua Bab, at-Ta'awwudz min Syarri ma Amila)

Don't be Sad for Muslimah (Live Like an Angel)
by Nabil Bin Muhammad Mahmud
(Page 92)

A flower does not think of competing
with another flower next to it.
It just blooms. 🌸
- Zen Shin

Will the pain ever go away, I asked myself?

So today I took the courage to feel the pain.
And I can't believe I endured it.
And I'm beginning to like that pain.