Having to hear the Nurse saying the good news really was a sense of relief. I can't never be thankful for this. I anticipate the news for 2 weeks. It's crazy. A major rollercoaster ride! 

Syukur Alhamdulillah, Ya Allah! And I will never stop making my Dua's, still. Amin.

 It's been a long time since I've blog. 

Well, I'm back to work on sites for 3 weeks now. So that explains my hiatus. I do actually miss working from home. It's really hard to part with the cats when it's like 4 months having them around me, meowing for food. Haha. 

I'm currently on "treatment". It's a pretty scary phase that I'm embarking on. But I keep telling myself that I am strong to overcome this. I know I am. Because if I can deal with the pain of having to do Swab Test for every 2 weeks, why not. Oh yea, it's a compulsory for people who work on sites to conduct their Swab Test every two weeks. It's not that scary, well, a bit. It's more to like ticklish plus it's deep! You can actually feel the stick tickles your throat. I kinda grew on it because it's like my 7th time doing it. Haha.

It's madness at work too, when you have to comply to all the rules and regulations. Work is different now. Plus to be extra careful as dormitory workers here in Singapore still holds the largest number affected here. It's tedious to enter sites now, but I grew on it.

I'm more concern on my "treatment". And all I pray for, is for me to be strong, mentally and physically. Just going with the flow and leave it to Allah. Amin.

I chopped off my hair.

Short.  Below my ears. 

I chopped it off myself because I hated the different color as my hair grew longer for over a year. Plus the split ends and how greasy my hair is. Plus, I feel lighter. Like I lift off a huge burden that's weighing on my shoulders. I feel renewed.

And I will be fine. Inshallah, I will be fine.

I'm not a cook, but well I tried. I really tried and I like it. Had fun googling, calling my mum and sister to guide me. And yes, YouTube and Google is my saviour! Finally, we used up the last 3 packets of instant Miso Soup that we bought from Hokkaido Airport early in February this year before the travel ban all over the world. We were lucky to travel and spent our 1st year Anniversary overseas. At that moment, it was actually pretty bad. Because China was greatly affected in late December of 2019, and we were actually pretty scared that our trip might get cancelled. Alhamdulillah, it was such a breeze and when were back in Singapore, things started to get pretty serious. We were totally fine, Alhamdulillah. No illness, no symptoms, Alhamdulillah. It is pretty scary though, because there are still China tourist in Hokkaido. I guess Japan really had it under control at that moment.

So yes, whipped this up! And I tried making the Ramen eggs. Japanese uses Mirin so I substitute it with Apple Cider Vinegar. The smell, pretty darn strong! So I would suggest to use without the vinegar. And more Soy Sauce please. I didn't get the Udon this time round and well, it works. Slice it up with Nori Seaweed, it's good to go! Filled belly, well a happy husband. 

Ingredients:

Marukome Instant Miso Soup (or any other)

Minced onion

Lemongrass

Himalayan Pink Salt

Noodles

Eggs (to soak in Apple Cider, Dark and Light Soy Sauce for 2-4 hours)

Yong Tau Foo (optional)

My safe heaven.

The place where I feel safe. Replica, mirror image, duplicate. Nope, it's an upgrade. My sanctuary, with birds chirping outside the window, with wind blowing the curtains as it flows. I felt home. Home where I once belong and forever will belong. 

Today is the 2nd day of Eid of year 2020. It's different this year due to the COVID-19 virus, restrictions to travel or visiting seems difficult as there will be patrolling officers dropping samans to those who doesn't complies to the rules. Basically, everyone is at home now. And Zoom or any other video conferencing tools is likely a norm for this period of time. 

Singapore will soon lift the "Circuit Breaker" and to said that our lives will have to adapt to the measures. I don't know how our lives will revolve in a week to come. Wearing mask will be a new norm and perhaps working from home might actually works for some of the sectors. I kind of like being at home. I actually save time on commuting to work and save cost for my transportations. But unlikely that I will work from home because I work at constructions sites. And with this, I can foresee the ramp up of handing over inspections due to the delays of 2 month back logs. Meaning I can foresee, working on weekends too.

Ramadhan has left us. It is sad but I only prayed for us to meet for the next Ramadhan, Inshallah. This year Ramadhan is beautiful, I got to admit. I get to cook at home for Iftar, wake up for Tahajjud, performing Ibadah at ease. A cleaner environment, Alhamdulillah. Performing Terawih, Mashallah. A blessed Ramadhan. I am too glad for all the Bangladesh and Indian workers. It's really a break for them and how glad I am that they can fast and perform their Ibadah at ease. Syukur Alhamdulillah, a blessing indeed. 

It's been a trying month. Hearing my maternal favourite auntie, Mak Long, going in and out of the hospital. It's devastating. Worrying, no doubt. Many thoughts comes to my mind but I know Allah is forever Hearing. Moreover knowing with my current condition, I am actually pretty exhausted. All I need is comfort and support; and to Allah, I seek refuge. He is forever Knowing. 

Oh Allah, bless me with strength.

I'm not as strong as the wife of Prophet Ibrahim as. nor the wife of Prophet Zakharia as.

What happened yesterday has ripped me off my womanhood. I was left dumbfounded with what the doctor says that I actually had to choke back my own tears. I wanted to scream, I wanted to curl and my hands were trembling. I had to clench my fists and rub them as to comfort myself.

What the doctors says, seems new to me. I have never heard of these before. I had to make sense out of all of it. She mention that it is genetic and the key word was STRESS. My heart just sank. Because deep down I knew, I've been stressed for some part of my life.

I know everything happens for a reason and I know "Allah does not burden a soul beyond than it can bear... (Quran 2:286)". I knew that He wants me to kept praying, kept seeking for His guidance. I know He loves me and that's why He tested me. He not only test me but those who is around me as well. May Allah ease all of my affairs and may Allah grant me and my husband patience and strength. Amin.


رَبِّ هَبْ لى‏ مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِيَّةً طَيِّبَةً اِنَّكَ سَميعُ الدُّعاء
Robbi habli miladunka dzurriyyatan toyyibatan innaka samii'ud du'aa

“Ya Tuhanku, berilah aku dari sisi Engkau seorang anak yang baik. Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pendengar doa”

Wow.

1 year, 2 months, 2 weeks and 6 days. That is how longed I've been married. And yeah, blogged.

It's been a wild roller coaster. And if you're reading now, yes Singapore is currently on "Circuit Breaker". What's that? It means work from home (wfh) and limited access nationwide. A lot of restrictions because of the world wide phenomena whereby there's this virus, called COVID-19 that was spread in China then bam! Globally. Singapore is in "CB" ever since 7th April and will be extended till 1st June. Currently, there's approximately around 20,000 infected cases and 20 death here. United State has the highest number of infected cases and death. Surprise, surprise.

Anyway, it's Ramadan now. It's been like the 16th day so far and thankfully, I am glad to be home at this period of time. Alhamdulillah. My husband is the happiest because well, I am working from home. And yes, I've started to learn how to cook! Yippee! Pretty challenging during these fasting period whereby I couldn't get to taste while cooking. But by Zikir-ing, Alhamdulillah, the food taste pretty good! I'm a Sous Chef now. Hahaha.

I have like tons of drafts in my blog over the year, well I guess, I'll discard them all and start a new post starting today. There is so much to tell and a lot happened. I think I will slowly unfold one by one as time comes and I won't be posting every single day anymore, that's for sure. But I will be glad to keep this blog as a journal and a reminder of what it's like, being me. 

=)

Today, got my heart pumping fast enough. Seeing my family members helping and assisting me, I am grateful for everything. My parents who tremendously given their upmost support and courage, I am forever thankful. Relatives and friends too who root and send their well wishes. Thank you for al the blessings. 

And not forgetting, to the ones whom we lost.

Al-Fateha.

And Bismillah, for tomorrow.

It's coming soon.

The kind I need.

Alhamdulillah, thank you so much sisters.

Getting all ready! 

Quiet times.

Quiet mind.

Soon, you will have the ones who loves you as much as how your parents have loved you. 

We may not be close anymore but I am thankful that you still have a place 

in your heart and mind to acknowledge me.

Seeing this awesome mother reading a book to her children is one of the most heart felt feeling I've encountered. Not only by keeping them busy, but that bond is completely amazing! I am so inspired and told myself that, someday, this will be me too. Inshallah Amin.

Bachelorette Treat!

Thank you to my beautiful sisters, SIL and favourite cousins!

May Allah bless you all with bountiful goodness. Amin.

Every time when we need to destress and relax after a long hard day of walking.

2 minutes of simple joy!

The best part in Singapore is the Multi-Racial way of living in harmony despite the racism remarks, but always believe that there are still people of other races who is kind and caring! And those people, are the people with the purest of hearts. 

Preparing myself to be a wife is that scary. I mean, will I be able to do my duty as a wife? To cook, clean and care for the husband? Will I be able to serve my duties well? I just hope that the future husband to be patience with me as I grow slowly. Inshallah Amin.

Goodbye Single.

Well, Hello Double!