I'm not as strong as the wife of Prophet Ibrahim as. nor the wife of Prophet Zakharia as.

What happened yesterday has ripped me off my womanhood. I was left dumbfounded with what the doctor says that I actually had to choke back my own tears. I wanted to scream, I wanted to curl and my hands were trembling. I had to clench my fists and rub them as to comfort myself.

What the doctors says, seems new to me. I have never heard of these before. I had to make sense out of all of it. She mention that it is genetic and the key word was STRESS. My heart just sank. Because deep down I knew, I've been stressed for some part of my life.

I know everything happens for a reason and I know "Allah does not burden a soul beyond than it can bear... (Quran 2:286)". I knew that He wants me to kept praying, kept seeking for His guidance. I know He loves me and that's why He tested me. He not only test me but those who is around me as well. May Allah ease all of my affairs and may Allah grant me and my husband patience and strength. Amin.


رَبِّ هَبْ لى‏ مِنْ لَدُنْكَ ذُرِيَّةً طَيِّبَةً اِنَّكَ سَميعُ الدُّعاء
Robbi habli miladunka dzurriyyatan toyyibatan innaka samii'ud du'aa

“Ya Tuhanku, berilah aku dari sisi Engkau seorang anak yang baik. Sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Pendengar doa”

رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْنَا صَبْرًا وَتَوَفَّنَا مُسْلِمِينَ

Rabbana afrigh 'alayna sabraw wa tawaffana Muslimeen

Our Lord! pour out on us patience, and cause us to die as Muslims.

Surah Al-A'raf - 7:126

My first paper. Bismillah.

صَلّىَ اللهُ عَلى مُحَمّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمّد. اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْألُكَ يَا مُذَكِرَ الخَيْرِ وَفَاعِلَهُ وَالآمِرَ بِهِ ذَكِرّنِي مَا اَنّسَانِهِ الشّيطَان

Salla-l-laahu alaa Muhammad wa aal-e Muhammad. Allahumma inni as’aluka yaa mudhakkira-l khayr wa faa’ilahu wa-l-aamimira bihi dhakir-ni maa ansaani-hi-shaytan.

Blessings of Allah be upon Muhammad and his progeny. O Allah, I ask you, the one who mentions goodness and actualizes it and commands it, remind me of that which the shaytan makes me forget.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ الْعَافِيَةَ 

ALLAHUMMA INNI AS' ALUKA AL'AFIYAH
"O Allah, I ask you for Afiyah."

Allahummaj’al fe qalbi nooran

O Allah, create a light in my heart

I am nervous, a little bit scared but excited. It's like an overwhelming feelings all come to one. I never thought that I would be going through this again. Despite after all those hurt and the hurls people had for me. I'm ready to face this battle again with one and only hope.

Dear Allah.

I ask You the good through Your Knowledge, and ability through Your Power, and beg (Your favour) out of Your infinite Bounty. For surely You have Power; I have none. You know all; I know not. You are the Great Knower of all things.

If in Your Knowledge, he'll be good for my faith (Deen), for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then ordain it for me, and make it easy for me, and bless me therein. 

But if in Your Knowledge, he'll be bad for my faith (Deen), for my livelihood, and for the consequences of my affairs, then turn it away from me, and turn me away therefrom, and ordain for me the good wherever it be, and cause me to please with it.

Amin.

اَللهُ اَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ اَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ اَكْبَرُ، لآَاِلهَ اِلاَّاللهُ وَاللهُ اَكْبَرُ
اَللهُ اَكْبَرُ وَ ِللهِ الْحَمْدُ

اَللهُ اَكْبَرُ كَبِيْرًا، وَالْحَمْدُ ِللهِ كَثِيْرًا، وَسُبْحَانَ اللهِ بُكْرَةً وَّاَصِيْلاً. لآَاِلهَ اِلاَّاللهُ وَلاَنَعْبُدُ اِلاَّ اِيَّاهُ مُخْلِصِيْنَ لَهُ الدِّيْنَ، وَلَوْكَرِهَ الْكَافِرُوْنَ، لآَاِلهَ اِلاَّاللهُ وَحْدَهُ، صَدَقَ وَعْدَهُ، وَنَصَرَ عَبْدَهُ، وَاَعَزَّجُنْدَهُ وَهَزَمَ اْلاَحْزَابَ وَحْدَهُ، لآَاِلهَ اَلاَّ اللهُ وَاللهُ اَكْبَرُ، اَللهُ اَكْبَرُ وَ ِللهِ الْحَمْدُ

Allahuakbar Allahuakbar Allahuakbar
La ilaha illa Allahu wa Allahu akbar,
Allahu akbar walillahi ilham x 3

 Allahuakbar kabira walhamdulillahi kathira,Wa subhanallahi bukrata wa asila
 La ilaha illa Allahu wa na'budu illa iayyahu, muhlisinalahuddin , walau karihal kafirun
 La ilaha illa Allah hu wahdahu , sodaqo wa’dahu, wa nasoroab' dahu
 Wa a a'zza jundahu wahazamal akhzaba wahdahuLa ilaha illa Allahu Allahu akbar, Allahu akbar walillahi ilhamdu

Allah Maha Besar, Allah Maha Besar, Allah Maha Besar,
Tiada Tuhan (yang berhak disembah) melainkan Allah dan Allah Maha Besar,
Allah Maha Besar dan segala puji-pujian hanya layak bagi Allah.
Allah Maha Besar Yang Teramat Besar, Segala Puji bagi Allah Yang Teramat Banyak,
Maha suci Allah pada waktu pagi dan petang,
Tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah, dan Tidak ada lain yang kami sembah melainkan Dia,
Kami ikhlas kepadaNya (mengikuti ajaran agama Islam) sekalipun
dibenci oleh orang-orang kafir,
Tiada Tuhan melainkan Allah Yang Tunggal, Yang Menepati
janjiNya, Yang Menolong hambaNya,
Dan Yang Memuliakan tenteraNya dalam mengalahkan tentera alAhzab
dengan sendiri (KekuasaanNya),
Tidak ada Tuhan melainkan Allah dan Allah Maha Besar, Allah
Maha Besar dan segala puji-pujian hanya bagi Allah.

إِذْ قَالَ يُوسُفُ لأَبِيهِ يَآ أبَتِ إنّي رَأَيْتُ أَحَدَ عَشَرَ كَوْكَباً وَالشَّمْسَ وَالْقَمَرَ رَأَيْتُهُمْ لِي 

سَاجِدِينَ

Ith qala yoosufu liabeehi ya abati innee raaytu ahada AAashara kawkaban waalshshamsa waalqamara raaytuhum lee sajideen

"When, Yusuf said to his father: ‘O my father! Verily I did see (dreamt) eleven stars and the sun and the moon: I saw them prostrating themselves unto me".(Surah Yusuf: ayah 4)

 وَأَلْقَيْتُ عَلَيْكَ مَحَبَّةً مِنِّي وَلِتُصْنَعَ عَلَىٰ عَيْنِي

Wa-alqayka ‘alayka mahabbatan minnii walitushna’a’laa ‘ainii

"And I spread My love over you in order that you might be reared in My sight."
(Surah Taha: ayah 39)

وَإِن يَمْسَسْكَ اللّهُ بِضُرٍّ فَلاَ كَاشِفَ لَهُ إِلاَّ هُوَ وَإِن يَمْسَسْكَ بِخَيْرٍ فَهُوَ عَلَى كُلِّ شَيْءٍ قَدُيرٌ

Wain yamsaska Allahu bidurrin fala kashifa lahu illa huwa wain yamsaska bikhayrin fahuwa AAala kulli shayin qadeerun

"And if Allah should touch you with adversity, there is no remover of it except Him. And if He touches you with good – then He is over all things competent."

(Surah-Al-Inaam: ayah 17)

وَهَيِّئْ لَنَا مِنْ أَمْرِنَا رَشَدا

Wa hai yi' lanaa min amrinaa rashadaa

"Ya Allah, persiapkan kami mengenai dengan urusan kami dengan petunjukMu".

 رَبِّ هَب لى مِن لَدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ إِنَّكَ سَميعُ الدُّعاءِ

rabbi hab lee min ladunka thurriyyatan tayyibatan 

innaka sameeAAudduAAa

"Oh Allah! Grant me from Yourself a good offspring; 

indeed You're the Hearer of prayer."

(Surah Al-Imran, ayah 38)

Supplication of Prophet Zakariyya (as)

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الَّذِي لاَ يَضُرُّ مَعَ اسْمِهِ شَىْءٌ فِي الأَرْضِ وَلاَ فِي السَّمَاءِ وَهُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ

Bismillaahil-ladhi la yadurru ma’as mihi shay’un fil-ardi wa'la fis-sama’i wa hu-was sami'ul Alim

In the name of Allah with whose name thereis protection against every kind of harm in the earth or in the heaven, and He is the All-Hearing and All-Knowing. Nothing will harm Him.

(Abu Dawud & At Tirmidhi)

 This Dua was given to Aisyah from Rasulullah, 

to be read on the first day of woman whose on her period :

الحمد لله على كل حال واستغفر الله من كل ذنب
Alhamdulillah ala kulli hallin wa astaghfirullah min kulli zanbin

"Segala puji bagi Allah di atas segala haldan aku memohon keampunan kepada Allah daripada segala dosa."

وَإِذَا مَرِضْتُ فَهُوَ يَشْفِينِ

wa-idzaa maridhtu fahuwa yasyfiin

"And when I am ill, it is He who cures me."

(Surah Ash-Shura: ayah 80)

This time round I went up to Jabal Rahmah by climbing the rocks instead of taking the stairs. Mashallah that struggle. It's like finding my Adam who is still in search for me too. Hehe.

Jabal Rahmah is a mountain which is famous for the story of Prophet Adam (as) and Hawa (Eve) love meetings. Jabal Rahmah is on the edge of Padang Arafah which is an area in the eastern outskirts of Makkah. Rahmah means mercy. 

The name was taken from a story believed by Muslims, which is a meeting between Adam and Hawa. So when Adam and Hawa were separated due to breaking a promise of Allah, it was to say that they were thrown out from Paradise and Allah place Prophet Adam somewhere in India while Hawa in Jeddah. And Jabal Rahmah is the place where they both met after 300 long years.

On top of Jabal Rahmah there is a monument made ​​of concrete rectangular with a width of 1.8 meters and a height of 8 meters. A local people believe that the location of the meeting of Adam and Hawa is at the exact point of the monument. Jabal Rahmah itself can be regarded as the hills. Only about 70 meters high and can be climbed only by passing pilgrims which takes about 20 minutes. Near monuments, many pilgrims made Dua for a life-long partner.

Jabal Rahmah is also a place for the historic journey of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). It was there that he received the final revelation of Allah, as well as a complement of the teachings of Islam.

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

"Rabbana hablana min azwaajina, wa dzurriyyatina qurrata a'yuniw, waj'alna lil muttaqiena imaamaa."

"Ya Tuhan kami, anugerahkanlah kepada kami jodoh [isteri-isteri] kami dan keturunan kami sebagai penyenang hati (kami), dan jadikanlah kami imam bagi orang2 yang bertakwa." 

(QS Al-Furqaan 74)

رَبِّ لَا تَذَرْنِى فَرْدًا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ ٱلْوَٰرِثِينَ

“ROBBI LAA TADZARNI FARDAN WA ANTA KHOIRUL WAARITSIN”.

"Ya Tuhanku janganlah Engkau membiarkan aku hidup seorang diri dan Engkaulah Waris Yang Paling Baik."

رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِنْ لَدُنْكَ زَوْجًا طَيِّبًا أَخْطُبُهَ وَأَتَزَوَّجُ بِهِ وَيَكُوْنُ صَاحِبًا لِى فِى الدُنْيَا وَالْأَخِرَة

“ROBBI HABLII MILLADUNKA ZAUJAN THOYYIBAN WAYAKUUNA SHOOHIBAN LII FIDDIINI WADDUNYAA WAL AAKHIROH”.

“Ya Robb, berikanlah kepadaku suami yang terbaik dari sisi-Mu, suami yang juga menjadi sahabatku dalam urusan agama, urusan dunia & akhirat”.

‎لَبَّيْكَ اللَّهُمَّ لَبَّيْكَ، لَبَّيْكَ لاَ شَرِيْكَ لَكَ لَبَّيْكَ

‎إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ وَالنِّعْمَةَ لَكَ وَالْمُلْكَ لاَ شَرِيْكَ لَكَ

Labbaikallahumma Labbaik

Labbaika Laa Syarikalaka Labbaik

Innalhamda Wan Ni’mata

Laka Wal Mulk

Laa Syarikalak

"Aku memenuhi panggilanMu ya Allah aku memenuhi panggilanMu. Aku memenuhi panggilanMu tiada sekutu bagiMu aku memenuhi panggilanMu. Sesungguhnya pujian dan ni’mat adalah milikMu begitu juga kerajaan tiada sekutu bagiMu."

رَبِّ اغْفِرْلِيْ وَارْحَمْنِيْ وَاجْبُرْنِيْ وَارْفَعْنِيْ
 وَارْزُقْنِيْ وَاهْدِنِيْ وَعَافِنِيْ وَاعْفُ عَنِّيْ 

ROBBIGHFIRLII WARHAMNII WAJBURNII 
WARFA'NII WARZUQNII WAHGDINII WA'AAFINII WA'FU 'ANNII

"Ya Allah,ampunilah dosaku,belas kasihinilah aku dan cukuplah segala kekuranganku da angkatlah derajatku dan berilah rezeki kepadaku,dan berilah aku petunjuk dan berilah kesehatan padaku dan berilah ampunan kepadaku."

أسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ وَ أتُوبُ إلَيْهِ

Astaghfirullaha wa atūūbu ilaihi

I seek the Forgiveness of Allah and repent to Him.
Hadith Sahih al Bukhari, Muslim 4:2075

حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ

Hasbunallahu wa ni`mal Wakil’

"Allah (Alone) is Sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs (for us)."

 Surah Al ‘Imran: ayah 173

اللَّهُمَّ لاَ سَهْلاً إِلّاَ مَا جَعَلّتَهٌ سَهْلاً وَأَنّتَ تَجّعَلَ الحَزَنَ إِذَا شِئتَ سَهْلاً

Allahumma la sahla illama ja-‘altahu sahla anta taj ‘alu al hazana eza ma shi’ta sahal.”

“Oh Allah! Nothing is easy except what you have made easy. If you wish, you can make the difficult easy."