Him: Love is a choice.

Her: Love can't be forced.

I may have stop praying for us,

but I will never stop praying for you.

Life is funny, isn't it? Just when you think you've got it all figured out, just when you finally begin to plan something, get excited about it and feel like you know what direction you're heading in, the path change, the signs change, the wind blows the other way. North is suddenly south, and east is west and you're lost. It's so easy to lose you way, to lose direction.

- Where Rainbow Ends, Cecelia Ahern

You may crushed my heart over and over again;

but my parents,

they don't deserve any less.

اللَّهُ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ الْحَيُّ الْقَيُّومُ ۚ لَا تَأْخُذُهُ سِنَةٌ وَلَا نَوْمٌ ۚ لَهُ مَا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ ۗ مَنْ ذَا الَّذِي يَشْفَعُ عِنْدَهُ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِهِ ۚ يَعْلَمُ مَا بَيْنَ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمَا خَلْفَهُمْ ۖ وَلَا يُحِيطُونَ بِشَيْءٍ مِنْ عِلْمِهِ إِلَّا بِمَا شَاءَ ۚ وَسِعَ كُرْسِيُّهُ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ ۖ وَلَا يَئُودُهُ حِفْظُهُمَا ۚ وَهُوَ الْعَلِيُّ الْعَظِيمُ  ﴿٢٥٥﴾؅

Allahu la ilaha illa huwa alhayyu alqayyoomu la takhuthuhu sinatun wala nawmun lahu ma fee alssamawati wama fee alardi man tha allathee yashfaAAu AAindahu illa biithnihi yaAAlamu ma bayna aydeehim wama khalfahum wala yuheetoona bishayin min AAilmihi illa bima shaa wasiAAa kursiyyuhu alssamawati waalarda wala yaooduhu hifthuhuma wahuwa alAAaliyyu alAAatheemu

"Allah - there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of [all] existence. Neither drowsiness overtakes Him nor sleep. To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. Who is it that can intercede with Him except by His permission? He knows what is [presently] before them and what will be after them, and they encompass not a thing of His knowledge except for what He wills. His Kursi extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation tires Him not. And He is the Most High, the Most Great."

(Surah Al-Baqarah: ayah 255)

Exhalt the name of your Lord, the Most High.
Who created and proportioned.
And who destined and then guided.
And who brings out the pasture.
And then makes it black stubble.
We will make you recite, and you will not forget.
Except what Allah should will. Indeed, He knows what is declared and what is hidden.

And we will ease you toward ease.
So remind, if the reminder should benefit;
He who fears All will be reminded.
But the wretched one will avoid it-
He who will enter and burn in the greatest Fire,
Neither dying therein nor living.
He has certainly succeeded who purifies himself.
And mentions the name of his Lord and prays.
But you prefer the worldly life,
While the Hereafter is better and more enduring.
Indeed, this is in the former scriptures,
The scriptures of Abraham and Moses.
- Surah Al A'la 

There's a lot of verses in the Quran about Sabr. And personally, this is my favourite.

And be patient. And your patience is not but through Allah. And do not grieve over them and do not be in distress over what they conspire. Indeed, Allah is with those who fear Him and those who are doers of good.

- Surah An-Nahl: ayah 127-128

We are breaking our fast while little Isa whose turning 2 in September was making a lot of noise and cluttering the lego blocks. My cousin scolded him and the next minute, he pointed to the photo frame and says, Allah.

Mashallah, I just sat there with tears clouding my eyes. He is so little yet Allah gave him blessings to remind us that no matter how young or old you are, you still learnt from each other. Alhamdullilah.
=,) 

It’s like you woke up after a coma, 

putting every puzzle back 

and trying to figure out what when wrong.

You just couldn't find the answers. 

You couldn't find the reasons. 

You couldn't find what was your faults.

And all you can do, is beg for forgiveness.

We keep missing each other, maybe we're just not meant to be.

- Love, Rosie

Move along, dear Sarah.

Heal your heart,

stop the noises.

Find peace and serenity.

Believe that there will be a better tomorrow.

For He sure, knows the best for you.

=,)

Today I plucked up my courage and told my parents what was going on. I can't help but to feel so sorry for them. They are the best parents and they don't deserves any of this. My dad always tells us to Sabr and I know I have to learn to Redha. I know Allah is kind, He blessed us differently. They may not have what they want in this life, but they sure have what they need.

Allahu' Akbar.

I may have nothing to offer my parents but to Dua to Allah to grant them to Jannah.

مَنْ كَانَ لَهُ ثَلَاثُ بَنَاتٍ فَصَبَرَ عَلَيْهِنَّ، وَأَطْعَمَهُنَّ، وَسَقَاهُنَّ، وَكَسَاهُنَّ مِنْ جِدَتِهِ كُنَّ لَهُ حِجَابًا مِنَ النَّارِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ

Rasulullah shallallahu ‘alaihi wa sallam bersabda:Siapa yang memiliki 3 anak perempuan, lalu dia bersabar, memberinya makan, minum, dan pakaian dari hasil usahanya, maka semuanya akan menjadi tameng dari neraka pada hari kiamat.- Hadith Ahmad 17403, Ibnu Majah 3669, dan dishahihkan Syuaib al-Arnauth

Today after solat Terawih with my family, my parents asked if I was ok. I had to fake it that things is fine with me. My parents was so concerned and told me it's alright if things is not going well as there will be always be a way and Allah is forever kind. 

I just don't know what to say as I was confused and lost. Or maybe I am in denial. I just felt like I was being stabbed, so deep. Really deep.

When I received this, I broke down in the lift. I don't know how to feel. I felt like I was a disappointment. I felt like I'm not worthy and felt like a failure. I'm turning 30 soon and I can't even bear my ageing parents a grandchild. I'm turning 30 and here I am, still sorting out my life.

I stop crying and realised that, Allah is with me.

He won't burden a soul beyond than it can bear.
- Surah Al-Baqarah: ayah 286

Going back to office after a long period of time with paper work and emails piling up, I wish I could slow down time.

By time, indeed mankind is in loss. Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

- Surah Al-Asr: ayah 1-3

You know the funny thing about love, is you wished you never knew what love is. You wish to never learn to love again, you wish you never feel love.

What I learn is that, love is patience and always kind. Love is about admiring someone from afar. Wanting so much it hurts that you can never have them. You've been with all the wrong and different people in life and there you are wishing that someday, that someone you loved from afar would love you back. Years, those feelings were kept. Deep inside, hoping and praying that someday he'll be yours to keep. You're willing to give up everything for that person, hoping he feels the same towards you.

Suddenly it happens, he's yours. 

Then it slowly vanished. 

Again...

When you choose to leave by telling our friends to support me, 

it’s like you didn’t even have the guts to tell it to my face,

 when leaving.

When you are in pain, remember this.

That He knows what He is doing with you.

- Yasmin Mogahed

When you choose to remain silent 

and not talking it over.

Communication is the key

to resolve just about anything. 

I forgot who I was, until I look back to this.

Dear Allah, give me strength.

Staying up all night, thinking. 

Praying. Hoping.

Slowly when it drifts, 

it drifts apart.

Because this is what love supposed to be. 

And I really wish you felt the same way as I did.

It’s funny when you try to put the effort 

and the other hand is not clapping.

At all.

Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allah] from that which you love. And whatever you spend - indeed, Allah is Knowing of it.

- Surah Al Imran: ayah 92

Allah never change a condition of a people unless they strive to change what is in themselves.

- Surah Ar Ra'd: ayah 11

To be able to thank Allah for a blessing is a blessing within itself.

- Imam Shafii

Holding onto hope when everything is dark, is the greatest test of faith.
- Yasmin Mogahed

Some say a heart is just like a wheel,

when you bend it, you can't mend it.

And my love for you is like a sinking ship

And my heart is on that ship out in mid-ocean.

(Heart like a wheel by Kate & Anna McGarrigle)