I know I may be mean for saying this,

Astaghfirullah.

But I really learnt my lesson.

I'll never want to reproduce here.

Well at least not in Dunya, maybe in Akhirat, yes.

I don't want my son to be a jerk.

Or I'll never want my daughter to meet jerk.
I don't ever want my children to feel what I've felt.

Ohhhh heart.

Remembrance

The oppressed
The orphans
The unfortunate loved ones
Randomly appear in my head
Do I deserve this comfort if they are still
in melancholy I said

Sometimes we put ourselves into so
much grief
Forgetting that there greater ones
seeking relief
Tonight, for you I write, what I prayed,
that I hoped for in myself
May Allah remember me too and help
me during my death

"Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west (in prayers), but (true) righteousness is (in) one who believes in Allah, the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask (for help), and for freeing slaves; (and who) establishes prayer and gives zakah; (those who) fulfill their promise when they promise; and (those who) are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous."
- Surah Al-Baqarah 2:177

Syafakallah (May Allah heal you)
by The Vespa Rider
(Page 34)

As you get older, it's just normal to be doing things alone.

I actually enjoyed it much.

Even though it hurts sometimes.

But it shows how strong you are,

To overcome fears.
And fall back in love again.

Life is too short.

Anything can happen, any time.

Cherish.

When Allah test you, it is never to destroy you.

Whenever He removes something from your possessions, 

it is only to empty your hands for an even better gift.

(Hadith Ibn Qayyim)

Venue:

The Dim Sum Place

791 North Bridge Road, S198759

Dear Heart,

Welcome to the Duniya (World) where you can't be with everyone you love,

you can't have everything you want and

everything is temporary here.

But be patient and strive for the Akhirat (Hereafter),

where you can have anything that you desire and

you can be with whoever you love and

the best part is, everything is forever.

=,)

I thought I didn't have a heart until you came and broke it.

Not many known of the female warrior during Prophet Muhammad (saw) whom I greatly admire and respect. Nusayba bint Ka'b al-Ansariyah, also known as Umm Umara and al-Maziniyyah, daughter of ar-Rabab bint Abdullah ibn Habib, was an early convert to Islam and the first female to fight in defense of the religion. Nusayba was a part of the Banu Najjar tribe living in Medina during the time of the Prophet. She was one of only two women who partook in the second pledge of allegiance to Islam by newly converted Muslims. After converting, she fought alongside the Prophet against the Meccans in the Battle of Uhud, Battle of Hunain, Battle of Yamama, and the Treaty of Hudaibiyah.

Although initially accompanying the warriors in battle to provide assistance, Nusayba began fighting when, at the Battle of Uhud, the Prophet’s archers turned against him and the battle turned from a victory to a defeat. Nusayba rushed to the Prophet’s side to protect him from the arrows of the opposition.

Having fought many battles alongside men, Nusayba once told the Prophet that in the Quran only men were mentioned and women were often deprived of any importance. Then this verse was then revealed:

“Verily, the Muslims men and women, the believers men and women, the men and the women who are obedient, the men and women who are truthful, the men and the women who are patient, the men and the women who are humble, the men and the women who give Sadaqat, the men and the women who observe fast, the men and the women who guard their chastity and the men and the women who remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues, Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward.” (Quran 33:35)

After the Prophet died, she continued to be revered as a loyal convert, and lived through the rule of Abu Bakr and Umar ibn Al-Khattab. There is ambiguity about the end of her life but it is certain that she is currently buried in Mecca.

Every believing man and woman will be tested by Allah.
That's how He chooses His people.
But always keep one thing in mind;
whenever you see that a test has befallen you,
know that its His Rahmah and His Utmost Love for you,
He is putting you in this situation only so that He can teach you to be patient and grateful.
- adapted from Arwah Shea Rasol

When your heart is breaking and your pain makes you fall,
remember,
just remember that Allah sees it all.

Sometimes Allah attaches your heart to that which isn't written to be yours,

 so you may realize that not everything you love is good for you.

- Kahkasha Sidra

We have to learn to accept changes, embrace them.
There's always a positivity in changes.
It'll help us grow into a better person.
Inshallah.

When things are hard, remember this.
When plans don't go your way, remember this.
When you lost someone valuable to you and the pain is overwhelming, remember this.
One word that can ease your pain.

Temporary.

Your problems are temporary, your pain is temporary, this life and everything in it is temporary. All that lasts is the memory of how you made others feel and the seeds of good you planted behind you.
- adapted by Arwah Shea Rasol

A calamity that makes you turn to Allah is better for you than a blessing
which makes you forget the remembrance of Allah.

You were one time I let love weaken me. 

And I want you around as a constant reminder, 

to never make that mistake again.

- Oswald Cobblepot to Edward Nygma

Sometimes you have to pretend like nothing ever happen.

If we are strong enough to let it in,

We are strong enough to let go.
- Let It All Go by Rhodes feat Birdy

I finally found my closure.

Received this invitation from a colleague of mine. I was thrilled because his daughter will be marrying a Caucasian and it will be such a great experience to accepting Islam and all. Allah is forever kind, so the following day, I met my colleague after receiving this card. Mashallah, Allah is great. I met Mr Shaik and knowing how forever-always-curious I am, yes, he told me from A to Z the whole story and I was overwhelm and excited for him and his family. 

He then told me something memorable which I will keep it in my mind. Not to give up in life. Because we won't know what Allah's plans are. We kept on trying and trying and when we choose to give up, we are actually just one step to success. It's like you're nearly there but you gave up. So never ever give up, Siti. =')

You deserve more than ok, 

but for now just get through.

- Get Through by Feli & The Lemonshakers

I don't wish for happiness, 

I just want the sadness to leave.

I told my parents that I'm still hurting inside.

And this really exhaust me much.

Ayah just look at me say, "Just remember other people who got hurt much more than you do."

All I could think was my Muslim brothers and sisters fighting in a war right now.

Afghanistan, Palestine, Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Iraq, Yemen.

Ya Allah, forgive me.

=,(

Today I've turned a year older, a year wiser.
More stronger and braver to overcome fears and faced whatever possibilities to come.
I may be still hurting, but I am trying my very best to get back on my feet.

I hope I get better.
Soon.

Today it's the first I've attended a Ballet recital. It's really beautiful. To see mothers and daughters together, gushing and swooning over the dancers. There was a couple of fathers too supporting their children I guess. A lot of different kind of people there. Really an eye opener and yes, this makes me have a wider perspective of life. It was so magical that I weeped during one of the performances. Mashallah, it was really beautiful. How graceful they move as one, that's practically teamwork and amazing co-ordination. Really heart warming and yes, I'm beginning to open myself to new and exciting adventures.

Ohhh well, life is worth living.
And not forgetting to the Hereafter.

Sesungguhnya Allah SWT telah menasihati hamba-hamba Nya agar waspada dari tipu daya syaitan yang terkutuk. 

Allah SWT berfirman yang bermaksud:
"Sesungguhnya syaitan itu adalah musuh bagi kamu, maka anggaplah ia musuh (mu), kerana sesungguhnya syaitan-syaitan itu hanya mengajak golongannya supaya mereka menjadi penghuni neraka yang menyala-nyala."
- Surah Fathir 35:6

Permusuhan yang terjadi di antara manusia dan syaitan adalah permusuhan abadi hingga hari kiamat.

Orang yang berakal pasti selalu mengambil ibrah dan pelajaran, orang yang bijak tentu selalu merenung, sebelum semuanya terlambat dan datang penyesalan. Iaitu pada hari di mana engkau melihat ke kanan dan ke kiri melainkan hanya Allah SWT dan kebesaran Nya. Lalu engkau diberikan catatan amalmu, dan kemudian dikataan kepada kamu, seperti yang tercantum di dalam Al-Quran:

"Bacalah kitabmu, cukuplah diri kamu sendiri pada waktu ini sebagai penghisab terhadap kamu."
- Surah Al Israa' 17:14

Aku Bukan Bidadari
by Muhammad Abdul Athi Buhari
(Page 404-405)

When life is not meant to be, so be it.
Try to move forward.

"And the disbelievers planned, but Allah planned. And Allah is the best of planners."

- Aal- Imran: ayah 54

"But they plan, and Allah plans. And Allah is the best of planners."

- Al-Anfaal: ayah 30

I'm glad that things happens. I've realized the colors of my surroundings. The people whom I thought are the best pillars or the people I thought who are ideal is just not what I realized them to be. It may be disappointing but I guess it's just the way Allah shows it. He is forever kind.

Allah never miss anything. He test us in many ways to make us grow. To be better, stronger and wiser. There's always a reason why things happens and does not happen. It's in the way Allah shows his love for us, saving us.

Ya Allah, bring me close to you. 

 I always believe that there's always a hope in life.
A chance to remember who we can be, rather than who we are. 

The other time after solat jemaah with my parents, I break down and told my parents that I am left hanging. My dad looks at me and say, "Astaghfirullah adik. Allah never leaves us hanging, never!" There was a faint cry when he said that and I knew he is disappointed with me for saying that. He then told me, "Never lose your Imaan adik, even though you've lost some things. Never ever lose your Imaan. Sabr and dua, that's the only thing that you can offer for the one you love." 

Allah is really kind. Even though it's only for a while, I am glad to have met you. And I hope to forever keep.

"Life is made up of meetings and partings. People come into your life everyday, you say good morning, you say good evening, some stay for a few minutes, some stay for a few months, some a year, others a whole lifetime. No matter who it is, you meet and then you part. I'm so glad I met you Elizabeth Egan; I'll thank my lucky stars for that. I think I wished for you all of my life, he whispered. But now it is time for us to part."
- If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern

Maybe there's nothing more to say,

And in a funny way I'm calm.

Because the power is not mine,

I'm just gonna let it fly.

- What Can I Do by The Corrs

I've been searching for answers,

Not knowing the reasons.

I don't know where I went wrong,

Or what I did wrong till it turn out this way.

Lost. Confused. Lingering on.

All I need is just a closure.

And for you to say that you're sorry.

To my parent's face.

And to mine.

So that I can be free.

And I really don't know how you sleep at night.
How heartless you can be.
Astaghfirullah' halazim.