Very often, the reason we hold onto things is because we hold the belief that we can somehow change it or change ourselves to get accustomed and to adapt.

People who hold onto clothes that are too small tend to use it as a motivation to get (or get back) to that size. They believe that they can adjust their bodies to the required exact proportion, or they have skills and know-how to adjust the clothing to fit them.

And then there are some who hold on to people even though it has not been a pleasant relationship, because they wholeheartedly believe that they can change the other person. Even if all else fails, they will somehow learn to adapt in fitting in instead. To me, that's a false dichotomy.

First of all, I've always maintained that we can never truly change people. Even in Islamic belief, hidayah or guidance comes only from God. We do our part to educate, to inform, to encourage, but the end result is surrendered entirely for God to decide.

Moreover, I've always held the view that change is possible. Anybody can change. But not everybody necessarily wants to change.

"Let the possibility of what your God can do for you excite you, and supersede the disappointments of what people have failed to do for you."

The Art of Letting God
by Mizi Wahid
(Page 55-56, 58)